Well, I guess I gave it a shot.
Tomorrow I have to increase my antidepressant dosage back to where it was before August.
Been in bed, in my pajamas, or in my own little world since Monday. I've accomplished very little since the bottom fell out. My entire list of accomplishments this week includes the laundry run, heating lunch for the kids twice, throwing together a pitiful lesson for my class at tutorial, showing up at c'group, taking a twenty minute walk, and about an hour's worth of schooling. The rest of it is all naps, tv shows, potato chips, and tears.
It could totally be worse. I haven't had any of those dangerous thoughts or locked myself away in the dark. I've just been flat.
I hoped I would upswing naturally, but I haven't. I've prayed about it, and thankfully the Lord has set aside any pride about this and given me peace that there's really nothing wrong with taking this step back for now.
So that's that.
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"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are fixing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
II Corinthians 4:16-18
II Corinthians 4:16-18
1 comment:
You are so brave and I admire how you let us know the ups and downs of your life. I think that you are doing the right thing if you have sought the Lord in it and are keeping yourself from spiraling into a more dangerous place. Love you, friend, and am praying for you.
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