I always wanted to be a mother. I felt like I had a lot of love to give. I dreamed about being a nurturer, a counselor, a comforter. Back then it all sounded so perfect: baking brownies, coloring with crayons, putting on band-aids. In many ways it has been perfect, being in moments that you know you will never forget. I have all those great memories stored up in my heart for the day when my children fly away with dreams of their own.
I'm not sure I want to hang on to the memories of this week! Both of my children have had a stomach virus. Stephen was first. He threw up or dry heaved every half hour for 12 hours. So every half hour I held the trash can, wiped his mouth, and listened to him suffer. In between times, even at 4 in the morning, he talked about his ideas on why people get sick and how he wishes there were "no such thing as getting sick anywhere". He was so miserable, and I was so tired.
Last night I woke to a terrible sound and found Jane over the toilet. She apologized for getting some on the floor. So we did what we always do: cover the couch with a sheet, get her pillow and pink bear, get the footstool and the trash can and a wet washcloth. And here we've been for the past five hours. I just finished explaining to her (when she apologized again) that I've already cleaned up the bathroom and it didn't bother me at all. She is so sad to be sick, and to Jane there's nothing worse than throw-up.
I wish I didn't have to remember these times, the hours of pain, the moans and groans, and the tears. But it's part of life. I know that they will remember these times, and I hope they remember I was with them every minute. Where else would I be? They are my children, my children.
My dreams came true.
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3 comments:
I don't know why this post made me cry, but it did. Maybe it's because I remember my mom doing the same thing. The couch is where I would be with a trash can, my favorite pillow, & anything else I needed to make me comfortable. And once things were beginning to settle down again I could have just about anything kind of food or drink I wanted as long as I was taking in fluids. Our favorites were orange shebert & orange crush because even with a stopped up nose you could still taste them.
So far I've been pretty lucky with David. I think he's only thrown up once & he was still a baby. We've had only a few bouts with diarrhea too. I remember another mom saying how sweet it was to have a child with a fever because that's the only time they got to cuddle their child for any length of time because the child is normally on the go too much to let mom cuddle them. That's how it is with David.
Having said all that, I pray that this stomach bug everyone seems to be having doesn't visit our home any time soon.
Jane usually pukes with a fever, but it's no big deal. This is only her second virus in her life, so we've been pretty lucky.
A couple of hours ago we were cuddled on the couch after her last "episode" watching The Price is Right! I remembered that game shows were always part of sick days, too!
(and if we were at my Granny's house we got soap operas after lunch...)
oh poo,
I hate throw up too. I used to pray for God to just go ahead and take me right then.
I am so glad you shared the puke story with love and reverence for motherhood
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