Old Friends, New Me

How long has it been since you got in touch with a blast from the past? This week, two dear friends resurfaced via facebook. One found me, I found the other. These are girls I haven't talked to in 8 or 10 years. I immediately pictured them the way they were when I last saw them. One had a two year old son that Chris and I adored. She was my best friend in high school, though we were complete opposites (isn't that the way it goes?). The other was my big brother's high school girlfriend, but a few years later I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. She was a small town girl. And now, the two year old is thirteen, and my friend is working away in Alabama. The other small town friend is working on her dissertation and is moving to Maine! They changed! I don't know who they are any more, though I hope to find out.

Now I'm realizing that they are picturing me the way I was...innocent, naive as all get-out, and pretending to be happy all the time. But I've changed, too! They don't know who I am any more. How do you tell your rebel girlfriend (you know it's true:) that you finally rebelled, too? Will she pat you on the back? Or should you let her see the misery it brought you? How do you tell someone that you wore a mask all those years, that you ached every day? And do you thank her for distracting you all that time? How do you say "I miss you" when you never called or wrote? How do you move on with an old friend when the foundation of who you are is so totally different than before?

Maybe this is why we call them old friends; they know the old you. People today could never imagine how silly I was back then. They couldn't imagine that I never voiced an opinion that required thought. They definitely couldn't imagine that I was always "okay", taking care of everyone else. Now I am melancholy and serious. I am opinionated because I think non-stop. I am very rarely "okay". Right, new friends?

So, here's a whole new question: do they still want to know me and will they like what I've become?

Better yet, will I see them for who they are and still call them friend? I hope so, because if I won't, I haven't really come that far.

It's a Pirate, Hero, Army, Jedi Kind of Day

It's musical costumes around here today.

I'm going to dress up like a Mom, Maid, Chef, and Chauffeur. Then I'll slip back into my alter-ego: a pajama wearing thirty-four year old who reads books while Andy Griffith plays on the TV.

(Shoot! I keep forgetting I'm only thirty-three! When did I start losing track of my age?!)

storm

how long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see you
the storminess will turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright

I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I see you
the storminess will turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright

and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
everything's alright
-lifehouse

Our Buddy...

Not only was today our summer yard sale, it was also our last visit with Stephen's best buddy Caid for a few weeks. He'll be in Florida with his dad for the next five weeks, probably sailing and baking cinnamon buns. We're used to seeing him (and Jennifer) a couple of times a week, so it's a big change for us!! These boys are the best of friends; they cackle and jump, then they snatch and yell. We've started placing bets on who will throw the first punch someday. Pretty much their only similarity is that they are (almost) seven year old boys. So they make an interesting pair, but they love each other. Jennifer and I imagined when they were born (10 days apart) that they would always be friends, and here we are seven years later and they really are!

Whatever role boys and their friends are supposed to play in each other's lives, these two have it!

Much Better...

Well, we may not make it into then next issue of Real Simple, but it's done. We're letting go of about half of Stephen's stuff, and we are optimistic that the big boxes will work. Moving the bed makes his room look much bigger, and he finally has a nightstand for the first time in his life! We went a couple of streets over to buy a three drawer dresser that we found on craigslist. It ain't fancy, but then again neither are we!

I grew up in a home where my mom re-arranged the furniture in our rooms regularly. She'd clean everything out, move the bed, and do a little something to make it more special, like add a new poster or bedspread. To finish it off she'd put new sheets on the bed, turn on the bedside lamp, and fold back the covers. When I went to bed at the end of the day, I felt like a princess in a new castle. And I think I understand now that she intended it that way.

Now mom comes over to repeat this ritual with Jane every couple of months. They are a hoot, two organizational freaks who speak similar languages. I'll go in and see things I would never take the time to do in a nine year old's room like books being sorted into categories, pillows being meticulously arranged on the bed, and a list on the wall of a daily to do list for keeping a clean room.

But Jane doesn't get the final touch: the lamp and folded down bed. I like having that memory all to myself.

My mom had those subtle ways of making me feel genuinely special. They were a free gift from her heart. I hope and pray that I am creating some memories like that for my children, little things they can look back on that will be a beacon reminding them how dear that were to me.

Love you, Mom.

Well, it's that time of year again. How is it that we accumulate enough stuff every year that we need to have annual yard sales? Well anyway, hopefully we'll make enough money to help pay for our trip to Florida in June.

Now many of you have been to my home for a baby shower, wedding shower, girls' night, Christmas party, or something like that. I always try to create a perfect environment for such events. But maybe you haven't noticed that our bedroom doors are always closed.

Here's one reason why: Stephen has almost no organizational skills, or at least he doesn't care to utilize them. His room really does look like tornado territory most of the time, with little land mines here and there. Strangely enough, he can find just about anything in there, and it really doesn't bother him to sleep in such a mess. Chris and I have decided to compromise a little and just put some big boxes in his room to put his stuff in, instead of micro-organizing into fifteen different categories. We'll see if that produces different results or not!

So here's a look at the current state of things. I had to pile everything up just so I could move his bed and take out the old dresser (it's going in the yard sale). I realize that he has a sinful number of toys, but in our defense do you know how many tiny pieces boy toys have? I'll post an "after" picture soon...hopefully.

FYI Our bedroom is only slightly cleaner than Stephen's, so never, ever open that door!!!

'lil Lily

Here is the sweet little angel of our family, my niece Lily. We had the joy of babysitting Mason, Keegan, Judah, and Lily on Sunday. Chris had all the big kids outside (yes, sadly Judah qualifies as a big kid now), while I had precious inside. We have no baby toys at our house anymore, so I filled a couple of empty plastic bottles with rice and dry beans and gave her an empty plastic box and she played for an hour! When we got bored with that, we resorted to "where's Lily", which is my personal favorite. She whispers "daa, daa, daa" frequently and has learned how to wave goodbye. I'm also told she crawls, but since she had on a dress Sunday it was an impossible task. Now, I know I'm biased, but isn't that a gorgeous smile? She soothes the soul, at least mine anyway.

Whiz Kid

As most of you know, we participated in our first year of tutorial this year. The difference between a tutorial and a co-op is that we are able to choose which classes we'd like our children to be in. This can be tough to find for elementary aged kids. Jane took geography and science this year and made lots of new friends. She REALLY took to geography and demanded that we quiz her regularly. Her class had a Geography Bee last week, and Jane tied for 1st place. I'm telling you, she knows things that I never learned or at least didn't retain after test time. We were really proud of her. Next year she will take Geography II, Drama, Choir, and Art.

She has also been reading the Little House books and started wearing her hair in braids. Jane never wants anything done to her hair, so it's been a lot of fun to get my hands on it at last. I even bought her a bonnet at our curriculum fair last week. After church on Sunday she ran straight to the car to put it on and show her friends in the parking lot. Chris and I decided that only homeschool kids do stuff like that with no shame. Others probably think it's odd (so do we, a little bit), but hey...she's happy!

Tigers Roar!

Stephen's first year as a Tiger Scout ended with a lot of fun. These boys spent a good portion of their year running around and telling bad jokes, and they became great friends along the way. Next year he'll be a Wolf, which I think just means he wears yellow instead of orange :) Chris was awesome and took him every Monday night for the whole year. Stephen is beginning to let go of my apron strings and step out into the world of boys and men. I'm not entirely happy about that, but I am immensely proud.

Still here...

Yes, I'm still here. Been way too busy, and pretending I'm too busy to sit down and write anything meaningful. The school year is winding down, which in homeschool world means you're planning for next year. All the best curriculum sales are happening now, so it feels like double duty for about three weeks.

Here's a list of things I'm looking forward to:

• showing off my haircut: about three inches gone!
• attending some workshops about creation, genesis, and dinosaurs
• mother's day date with my mom
  
• watching Jane bridge from a brownie to a junior
• Stephen's summer haircut (he wants it very short, we'll have to come to some sort of compromise 'cause I'm not ready)
  
• my dad's 71st birthday
• seeing my brother and sister-in-law (it's been since Christmas)
• going to Katie Jo's yard sale
• reading my summer book list
• going to see the Indiana Jones movie with Chris
  
• visiting Adam and Lindy
• taking the kids to Disney World
• watching the kids swim independently all summer (whoo hoooooo!!)
• grilling out with friends