So my heart is a little heavy today. It's so strange that I can feel heart ache and not know why. There are some logical reasons: my friend Shelli left for India yesterday, I had conversation with depth with a girlfriend this morning, my husband is too tired and overheated to spoil me this week. I guess anyone would say that's enough to shake things up.

But when I feel the ache in my chest I just assume there must be more to it. It's like watching one of those modern movies where all the action takes place in slow motion; someone hit me in the middle of my chest, my body flies backwards while my head and shoulders are flung forward. Only in my movie there's nothing to break the impact, no wall to hit or floor to land on. I just keep going back and back and back and the sequence doesn't end before the end of the shot.

I just have to close my eyes and wait. I have to breathe until I find a place to land.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to move forward today. I think I'll do the dishes and maybe some laundry. I know I'll take a shower, but my family will be shocked if we have a dinner that I made myself at the table tonight.

It sounds so simple. It's just not.