Hobbit. It was intended as a traveling song, and so it is. But those words "on and on" ring in my ears. I frequently add, to myself, "on and on and on and on and on and on". I am a self-professed melancholy girl, so ho-hum me thinks and thinks and thinks all day long. I'm exhausted all the time!! My granny used to say "tired" was my middle name, and I was only eight!! Life feels long. Will it ever end? SCHREECHING HALT!! What? Yes, it will end. How can I say that as my godmother enters radiation next month? How can I say that when my husband's friend just defeated cancer. How can I say that when my niece's life just ended before she took her first breath of air? How does my mind get so twisted up that I cannot see beyond myself?
And you thought you might catch some light reading before checking your email...
Look, here's the deal. The above quote cuts both ways. To me, it's just a reminder that I'm weary. But it is also telling me today that life will go on (and on). It always has, even for me. And when I'm not drowning in my private pits of despair, I actually want it to go on. I want to see a good day again. I want to stand up with hundreds of people and sing my heart out in praise. I want to make my husband laugh (it happens!). I want a million hugs from my son and a million smiles from my daughter. It's gonna be great!
So, oddly enough, this is a good start to my day. Now I can remember that life is not just the pit (which I confess I'm only in because I was awake half the night with a feverish six-year-old rolling around in my bed), it's also the road. The one up ahead which, though quite steep today, will turn a corner and lead me to places I haven't even seen yet.
I think...
3 comments:
Katie Bug,
You have definitely tapped into another ministry. Your writing is anointed by God. I really loved seeing the picture of you with your hands raised in victory. I had to remove my other comments- too many typographical errors.
Love ya
Ah, good ole' Bilbo. It's appropriate that that song is about traveling in accordance with your case.
We are all have some sort of l'amour-propre, self obsession. I guess that is what makes us human. I am happy that you would like for you life to continue on instead of dwelling on the end. It reminds me of the advice that Shiduri gives Gilgamesh.
"Humans are born, they live, then they die,
this is the order that the gods have decreed.
But until the end comes, enjoy your life,
spend it in happiness, not despair.
Savor your food, make each of your days
a delight, bath and anoint yourself,
wear bright clothes that are sparkling clean,
let music and dancing fill your house,
love the child who holds you by the hand,
and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.
That is the best way for a man to live."
I realize that your case is a bit different since you are not trying to obtain eternal life as a human on earth, but Shiduri's advice can be applicable to your case. I understand the weariness in life as monotony accompanies it. Enjoy what you have while you can. The road may go on and on, but there are many different paths that lead off of the road that make life the exciting adventure it is.
On the topic of Bilbo, I am taking a class on J.R.R. Tolkien. I'll be sure to fill you in on all of my new discoveries about his works.
Katie-Wow! You have a beautiful way with words. I can't wait to read more in the future...
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