Wednesday, August 19, 2009

so long, so long

Wow, more than four months since I've posted anything (or checked anyone else's blog...sorry!)

Still, here I am, mostly out of boredom. The quick update is that my health is finally, truly stable. The summer was full of VBS planning. Now we're back in the school thing. My world the past couple of weeks has consisted of mathematics, a daydreaming eight year old, an extremely talkative ten year old, laundry, dishes, a couple of books, and other various daily chores. Facebook has become my link to the outer world.

Can you tell I'm a little bored? I feel kind of bad about that. I mean, I'm a homeschooling mom, for Pete's sake. I chose to be in this house for more hours than most of my friends are in theirs. I try to remind myself that our out-of-the-house school routine hasn't started yet (PE, tutorial, girl and cub scouts, c'group), so things will probably get better in a couple of weeks. I'll probably be ready to kill for some quiet time at home by then!

Anyway, I guess I'm here because I've missed writing. I didn't even know until just now. I like the way it feels to tap away at my laptop, writing a continuous train of thought.

I find it hard to be fully mom and fully me at the same time. Writing is part of me, not the mom. So when I'm tired of being the mom (you know what I mean), then I crave more me time. So I've shopped, been to the movies, dressed like a teenager, and now I'm writing. For some reason it feels dark and secretive to write. I like that part of myself, even though I know it's utter nonsense to think that the fact that I like to write has to be kept a secret. Where did I ever pick up that idea? My counselor has some theories...

Maybe I ought to be giving updates on my kids, or my husband, or church life, or my many crafty projects. But instead, I just feel like being the "other" me, just for a few minutes.

See, now I'm done. I can get Jane's clothes out of the dryer, put clean sheets on the bed, clear the table for the new family puzzle we'll start tonight, and go to Shoney's with my folks for dinner. I can be...

you know what I really am? A social introvert. Not a term Myers-Briggs has, but I made up up for myself. So I'm off to be social and interact with the real world.

If you read this far, you must be a true friend.

7 comments:

Larissa said...

I hope that you are bored a little more, because I would love to read more from you!

We are back in the swing of things too. . . and I also feel as though I havn't seen the outside world in two weeks!

Nanette R. said...

Welcome back to the blogging world! I've missed your writing, but then again, I got to see you in person a lot this summer, and that was fun! :-) Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Stella Flowers said...

It's funny how writing can seem like such a secret place. I guess we all get use to being politically correct. To say what we are suppose to say, to look happy, to play the part. Who wants to really hear how we often feel, trapped, alone, scared? I am also just beginning to try out this whole blogging experience and so far I love it. However, Im not as daring as you. I feel so scared to share my inner feelings I actually created a pen name and email address for myself. I guess then I don't have to worry about hiding what I really want to say and worry about someone finding me on here. Much of luck and you have a beautiful style of writing.

Katie Thompson said...

Stella, blessings to you as well. Thanks for checking in.

robin said...

So glad you're back! I missed your thoughts, you social introvert you!

Kelly said...

Yay! You're back! I decided to pop over here to see if you'd started writing again, and you have. I'm glad.

I wonder at how writing can feel so private and secret, but at the same time frighteningly public. When I write I often feel like it's just me and the page (or computer screen); yet I am constantly aware that someone may actually read what I am writing, and that keeps me tentative.

I think reading this post has reminded me how much I actually do like writing. Maybe I'll start doing more of it myself. :o)

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