Pressing On

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More that that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, th righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and in the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Has this ever happened to you? You hear a passage that you've heard, even clung to, many times before. But suddenly something new reaches out and touches you in a whole new way. Words that you passed over before are now the emphasis of the whole thing!

Two "new" things were given to my by the Holy Spirit in this passage yesterday. I'll give them to you in reverse order.

"...forgetting what lies behind" God has been preparing me to hear these words for about three weeks, giving me hope for each day, making me ready to leave the loss and grief of the recent past behind me. And now I hear Him saying - forget it. There is nothing left to process, to learn, to grieve, to regret, to be afraid of. I think He's telling me to walk away. And just like He always is, He's showing me how to do it. I'm terrified. It's like learning how to walk again. But He is holding my hands, even when I'm oblivious to His presence.

"that I may be...found in Him" I've been lost for a long while, months or years now, not knowing where I'm going or what I'm doing. Wandering, but not really seeking. There's some sense of direction coming back now, but it only points me one way...to Him. Just as a toddler will always be found wrapped around his mother's leg, I want to be found with Him. "Where's Katie?" "She's over there, with God." I don't want to wander any more. I want to be where He is, always in close proximity to my Father. It's been months since that desire really moved me.

So...it's time for me to leave behind the massive load that I can't find enough words to describe (and now I don't have to). It's time for me to press on, knowing that He is providing the muscle to do it, and start to run. Lord, give me faith, a firm belief that you can do anything.